there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
