Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
