There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
