I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
