dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
