so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
