We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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