Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
high people should be assigned attendants
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
and you fell through a lawn chair
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
