The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Houston, we have a blender
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
