Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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