you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize