I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
