Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
