were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize