i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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