so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
ttyl tear gas
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
