What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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