You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
