As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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