I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
