Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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