thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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