There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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