I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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