The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
