Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
