Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
