hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
