You work out of a Hotel?
Duck Duck Cougar?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
