so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm getting married
To pizza
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
