Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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