U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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