I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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