So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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