Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
