Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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