If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize