I'm going to jail i love you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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