I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
