you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
its liver damage thursday
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
