escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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