I don't remember. Are we still dating?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
