I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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