I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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