Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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