I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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