I must be too annoying 4 u.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
