New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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