ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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