In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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