Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
