I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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