They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
