is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
