I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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