I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
