Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
