He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
