do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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