thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
