how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
