Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
