i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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