On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
