When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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