So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
