He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
