She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
