physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
