I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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