haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
